Farewell
by Potato-Braus
Summary: The last day of school is arriving and that's the time students say their goodbyes. One student has a lot to say to his friends before he bids his farewell.


Do you ever wonder where your place is in this world? Not so much location or what you hope to accomplish in life but your general importance. Have I made any impact on someone's life? Am I important to someone or a community? Have I given it all I've got? Some questions in life will remain unanswered leaving our curious minds to ponder such things. Maybe I think too much as I'd become rather anxious to where my future shall take me or to whether my place is here with you - my friends. I always believed I had my future laid out before me as clear as day but recent events have blocked my path and told me otherwise.

School has been a great experience minus the pretentious idiots, shedloads of homework and tedious classes. I've enjoyed my last year as Student Council Leader (I couldn't have done it without you guys), being a part of the football team (I refuse to call it soccer, Jones!), the music club (Gil, Mat, you rock), and genuinely being with you guys. You're probably thinking how sappy this all sounds and how it may sound like a speech or something daft along the lines, but I'm merely expressing my gratitude towards you. The reason I won't bat a word of this at the leavers ceremony is simply because I won't be attending. Why, you may ask. I'll come to that in a moment.

Gilbert and Mathias, you guys have been the best mates and band members anyone could ever ask for. You never failed to brighten up my day. How about teaming up with Roddy? That'd be fun to watch, right? Gil and Roddy teaming up would be the best comedy act. I'd pay to see that. Anyway, the both of you have really good potential in getting far in your music career. Never give up, okay? I have faith in you both. Rock on.

Matthew, I know you've had it hard in school and that you often feel invisible but I hope this past year has helped you a lot, y'know? You have friends who care a bunch about you and will stick with you through thick and thin. You're a great guy and who knew you were so good at hockey! I'm glad you worked up the confidence to join the team as your skill won us the hockey tournament! I saw your brother getting jealous at all of your attention. Bask in that glory (but don't let it get to your head) because you deserve all the attention you got. You should see if there are any sports scholarships going for you because you'll do fantastically.

Lukas and Vladimir, I've had some great times with you guys. Our Harry Potter movie marathons were always the best. Our spellcasting contests were always fun too. I forgot what you called it but I'll never forget that really awesome spell you cast, Vlad, which broke my window! I never did get it fixed. Oh, and I think I left my Slytherin robes at your place, Lukas. Keep them. They're all yours.

Kiku, I never thought I'd get into anime. Well, I've never been a big fan like you, Alfred and Francis, but there were some really cool ones. You're a great cook, too! The food you made for the summer fair was really quite a treat. Everyone loved it! Anyway, you've been a marvellous friend even though I've only known you for a couple of months. You were fantastic.

Francis. Hmf. What can I say? You're an ass. But you're also probably my best friend. Yes, we've had our quarrels, but we've been through a lot together. We've known each other since we were kids so I guess you're kind like the brother I didn't want at first but never realised how much I needed you. I know you're not technically family but you seem like a brother to me and you'll always have a place in my heart even if you are just a stinking frog. You've always had my back even if we've never always agreed. Thanks. It means a lot.

And Alfred. How do I put any of this to words? We haven't always been able to see eye-to-eye but you really are a great guy. I tease you, you tease me - that's just how we are, right? We've had some great times that I wouldn't trade for the world. I remember when I first went to a baseball match with you. I'd never been interested in baseball ever nor had I played it before but the experience was actually really great even if I didn't understand what was going on half the time in the game. Remember that time we ditched health class to shoot some hoops in the park? You had to teach me how to play but I caught on quick enough. You always made fun of my height saying it's a "tall man's sport". Very funny, huh? Didn't stop me from kicking your ass at the game. We went to get a hotdog after that, didn't we? Well, you got a 'corndog' - whatever the fuck that is. I told you I could pay half for it seeing as we both had different things but you_ insisted_ that you had to pay for mine too because "that's what heroes do". You're such a child, yanno? I know I've always teased you for your childish approach to life, but I actually admire it a whole lot. Hang onto your youth while you can. It's a crazy world out there. I guess what I'm trying to say with this hugeass paragraph is that you really mean a lot to me. I always feel safest around you. I guess now's a better time than any to come clean because of what's to come. You probably don't feel this way and I completely understand so don't feel guilty at all, okay? But for a long time now I've realised you're so much more than just a close friend to me. Your dumb smile has never failed to cheer me up. You've always been here for me. You're funny, charismatic, kind and - dare I say it - actually rather handsome. It's surprising you don't have a girlfriend yet, haha. Good on you for waiting until you're done with school though before thinking about a relationship. Well, if your head is screwed on straight you would have realised what I'm trying to say by now. In case you're still unsure, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world so you know what? All I could ever wish for is that you stick to what you believe in, okay? Pursue a bright and happy future. Never give up on your dreams, Alfred. Promise me you'll do your very best. I wish you the best of luck.

I guess I have some explaining to do now, don't I? As I may seem composed writing this now, I can honestly say that that is the complete opposite to how I am currently. I am so sorry. I am really sorry I've kept such a big secret from you guys but trust me when I say this, it has pained me to do so but I selfishly couldn't bring myself to see your distraught faces when I gave you the news. I'm sorry I'm such a coward to hide behind words. Please forgive me.

A couple of months back, I had to go to the hospital for a check up. The fact that I have a fear of hospitals only made this ten times harder for me to come to terms with once given the news. My heart sank as the doctor spoke those words to me. I was dying. They did everything they could to help me, but it wasn't enough to prevent the inevitable. I was terminally ill. I'd rather not discuss details, though. It's not necessary any more. There's nothing anyone can do to help me now and I've accepted my fate. Sorry for covering it up saying it was the flu, I didn't want to worry you, but my body hurts and I can barely move. I can't just let myself fade away like this. It just isn't living. By tonight, I will pull the trigger. Don't worry, I won't feel a thing. It will be quick. Thank you all for being here for me all those years. Thank you for being so kind when I for the most part haven't been. Thank you for putting up with me. I know I have been a handful but I really appreciate that you've stuck around. I feel more at ease knowing that. I've had tendencies to doubt your actions were true and I'm sorry. You guys really are the best. Do your best and be happy. All of you. I'll be by your side always even though you can't see me. I'll be there every step of the way. Just stay strong for me, okay?

I guess this is farewell, my friends, and goodnight. Please don't forget me. Goodbye and good luck.

Yours dearly,

Your friend and fellow classmate, Arthur Kirkland


End file.
